I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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