btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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