he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
