This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
