real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
