i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
