No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
