so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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