So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
