Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
