Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
