Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
