i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
