the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
