Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
