put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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