Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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