Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
