i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
