How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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