Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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