I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
