I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
