he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
