I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
