Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
