all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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