where am i from again
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
