my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
