hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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