so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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