He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
