i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
