Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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