Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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