whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
zippers are such a cool invention
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
this will be a night to untag.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
