you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
