Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm drive I can fine osifer
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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