You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
