Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This is my gift to your gina
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
