he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just had sex on a roof
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
