At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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