you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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