So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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