doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
