You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
