I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i drank out of a bidet.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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