ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
