I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
