I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
