my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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