Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
