I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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